Secrets and Dreams
by JC HOYT
Summary: Secrets and dreams are uncovered
1. Default Chapter

Nigel walked into Jordan's office to find her still there doing paperwork despite the late hour.  
  
"Well look at you burning the midnight oil" he grinned.  
  
"Yeah well I'm still on restricted duty and Garrett says Id better get all this back logged paperwork caught up if I know what'' good for me"  
  
"Since when have you ever known what's good for you?" he teased.  
  
"Ha Ha" she smirked.  
  
"Well that paperwork can probably wait a little longer, it's been waiting this long right? Why don't we go grab a drink and talk?"  
  
"Nah, thanks Nige but I think I'm actually doing to try and make a dent in all this and besides, I'm sick of talking, I've had to talk to Walcott, Garrett, Stiles, Dad, tons of cops and everyone else in the world since this whole thing with Malden happened" she smiled sadly.  
  
"You sure? We could just get a drink and not worry about the talking?"  
  
"Nah, I'm gonna stick around a while longer, you calling it a night?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just on my way out the door"  
  
"See you tomorrow then?" she asked.  
  
"I'll be here, don't work too hard okay?" he said genuinely concerned.  
  
"Goodnight Nige" she said with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"Night Jordan, try to get some sleep tonight" he smiled before turning to go.  
  
"I'm fine Nige! Its been weeks, so stop worrying about me and go home!" she said with mocked annoyance. She did actually appreciate his concern but didn't like everyone tip toeing around her like she was gonna lose it any second.  
  
He gave her a little smile and she watched him head down the hall and heard the elevator open.  
  
She turned back to her papers and went to work. She hadn't slept more than a few hours since it had happened so pretty soon sitting alone in the silence of her office made her sleepy. She was fighting to stay awake but soon lost the battle and laid her head down on her desk.  
  
She fell asleep quickly and the dreams came. "No No! James! Dad!" she called out frantically.  
  
She screamed as she felt hands on her, shaking her.  
  
"Jordan! Jordan! Wake up!"  
  
She gasped and jerked awake, pulling away from Woody before she even realized he was there.  
  
"Hey, its just me" he said kneeling beside her and stroking her face gently.  
  
"Hey" she smiled tenderly as she squeezed the hand that was touching her face.  
  
"Was it the same dream?" he asked kissing the hand that was holding his.  
  
"Yeah, the same as usual" she shrugged.  
  
"Jordan, I know you don't want to hear this but maybe its time that you talk to someone about this, I'm sure Howard..."  
  
"Woody, we've been through this, I don't want to talk to anyone about this, Im sick of talking about it, I just want to forget it but you and everyone else wont let me" she said pulling her hand away from him.  
  
He frowned as she pulled away from him. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just want you to be able to sleep"  
  
She smiled at him and leaned over and kissed him gently.  
  
"I can sleep when you're there with me"  
  
He grinned and kissed her deeply.  
  
"I thought we were done with secrets" Max said from the door where he had been standing, watching Jordan and Woody's interaction. 


	2. The truth

Jordan and Woody turned suddenly at the sound of Max's voice in the doorway. Woody pulled away quickly and in doing so fell backward less than gracefully on his butt. Jordan bit her lip, trying desperately not to laugh at his I wasn't messing with your daughter expression. She wiped her hand across her mouth casually. . "Uh hi Dad, what are you doing here?" she asked calmly, trying to downplay the fact that her dad had just caught her and woody kissing despite the fact that she hadn't told Max about their relationship yet.  
  
"Yeah well it's pretty obvious you weren't expecting me" he said sternly.  
  
"Dad, I was going to tell you about all this" she tried to explain.  
  
"Oh yeah Jordan? When would that be exactly? Because you sure haven't bothered to say anything up until the second I walked in here and caught you"  
  
"Caught me??" Jordan asked outraged. "Caught me dad??? I am not a child! I can make my own decisions and I don't have to clear my every move with you"  
  
"No you certainly don't, but you're the one who insisted we tell each other the truth now, no more secrets, isn't that what you said?"  
  
"I never once lied about Woody and I being together"  
  
"Oh don't give me that double sided crap Jordan, an omission is a lie just the same" he said and turned to go.  
  
Woody just looked on wordlessly, he didn't dare step into the middle of a Cavanaugh shouting match.  
  
Max stalked down the hall toward the elevator but Jordan followed him out, stomping along after him.  
  
"Why are you acting like such a complete jackass about this? Is it because of Woody?"  
  
"No it has absolutely nothing to do with Woody, I'm angry at you for hiding it from me. You lied Jordan, no matter how you try to reason it, it's still a lie"  
  
"Oh would you spare me the drama? Keeping this from you temporarily doesn't even compare to the secrets you've kept from me about my own mother!" she said raising her voice considerably for the first time.  
  
Max shook his head "I see the standard Jordan rules are in effect here"  
  
"What does that mean?" Jordan asked defensively, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"It's always the same with you, it's not a lie unless you're the one being lied to, the rules never apply to you"  
  
"Dad, it's Woody, it's not like it's some guy off the street that I'm hooking up with"  
  
"I don't care who it is, I told you this wasn't about Woody, if he wants to get involved with you despite all the things you've done to him, then that's his own problem"  
  
Woody was standing in the door listening to the exchange. He closed his eyes when those words came out of Max's mouth. He knew that would infuriate Jordan to no end and he didn't want to be the reason they were fighting.  
  
Jordan felt the blood rush into her face and her fists clench when those words escaped her fathers mouth. She stared him right in the eyes as she spoke coldly "Get out!" she said and turned on her heels and walked back to her office, slamming the door behind her. 


	3. Into the night

Jordan stomped irately back into her office and slammed the door behind her. Woody glanced sadly at the closed door in front of him and back to the closing elevator doors signaling Max's departure.  
  
He sighed and opened the door to Jordan's office and peeked his head around the corner cautiously, half expecting a paper weight to come flying full speed at his head. Jordan was pacing frantically and tossing her stress ball back and forth between her hands roughly. Woody smiled to himself, he had gotten her the ball as a joke when they first got together for all times he would make a mistake along the way and drive her crazy.  
  
"Hey" he said softly to make his presence known. Jordan glanced in his direction but continued pacing and squeezing the ball. "Can you believe him?" she shouted.  
  
"I know you're angry, but we probably should have told him sooner, I think he just feels hurt, that's all" Woody said.  
  
"He feels hurt? Baby, he said if you want to get involved with me after everything thing I've done to you, it's your own stupidity 


	4. Good Mornings

The next morning Woody woke up and reached out to find an empty space in his bed where Jordan had been next to him. Panic set in and he sat up straight in bed, remembering that Jordan had told him she loved him the night before and it wouldn't be completely unlikely that she would have freaked out and run after that.  
  
He tore the covers off of himself and jumped out of bed, hurrying through his small apartment in search of his Jordan. He almost ran smack into her when he cut the corner into the kitchen. She spilled her coffee when he had startled her.  
  
"Woody, you scared the crap out of me!"  
  
He just stared at her, then smiled happily and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"What was that for?" she asked, pulling back a little to look at him.  
  
"Just for being here" he answered and hugged her closer to him.  
  
"Ah, I see, you thought I was going to leave" she smirked.  
  
"No, I mean, I just thought...Okay I was a little worried when I woke up without you" He stuttered.  
  
She smiled knowingly; she knew exactly what he had been worried about. She handed him his cup of coffee and he started to cut up some fruit for them to share.  
  
"So now that your dad knows about us, maybe it's time we tell everyone else too," he said.  
  
She frowned "Yeah I guess we have to tell everyone eventually" she said unexcitedly.  
  
He hadn't missed the frown she gave at what he had said, "You don't seem very happy about that, do you want to continue to hide the fact that we're together?" he asked, the hurt evident in his eyes.  
  
She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him to show him she hadn't meant it that way. "No of course not, I want people to know that we're together but it is going to make things more complicated," she explained.  
  
"Yeah because you and I haven't always been complicated," he said sarcastically.  
  
"True" she smiled back "But we work together and if people know that we're together..." she didn't finish the sentence because Woody interrupted "It'll be fine, stop worrying" he said kissing her lightly on the mouth.  
  
"I've got to get ready for work" he said and turned to go towards the bathroom. "Just so you know, I'll be in the shower, completely naked and vulnerable" he grinned over his shoulder at her. "And the door wont be locked, ya know, just thought I'd mention that" he said smiling goofily.  
  
"We'll be late" Jordan admonished.  
  
"So what? We're never late, it's owed to us" he called back over his shoulder and he entered the bathroom and left the door ajar.  
  
A minute later she heard the water running "Okay I'm getting in the shower now" he called out. She laughed out loud at his persistence.  
  
She glanced at the clock, "Oh what the hell" she said to herself and made her way to the bathroom, shedding her clothes along the way.  
  
She carefully slipped into the shower behind him without him taking notice; he was washing his hair so he hadn't even sensed her coming.  
  
She ran her hands over his strong back and around to his tight chest. "You're not very observant Detective Hoyt, I thought cops were supposed to be aware of their surroundings at all times"  
  
He rinsed the remaining soap out of his hair and turned to take her in his arms "Only to dangers, and you're no threat to me"  
  
"You sure about that?" she teased.  
  
He leaned down and kissed her as he pulled her closer to him, under the water. They kissed deeply as they enjoyed the feel of the warm water beating down on their skin.  
  
He heard his phone ringing but ignored it. Then Jordan's cell phone started ringing as well. He tried to ignore that as well as he kissed her neck but she pulled back "It's gotta be work" she sighed. He nodded, and turned off the water and handed her a towel to dry off with.  
  
She watched him toweling himself off, his disappointment extremely obvious. She dropped her towel and kissed him deeply again as she hopped up onto the sink and pulled him to her. "We work with dead people, they'll still be there in 10 minutes" she smiled mischievously. 


	5. The cat's out of the bag

To avoid arousing suspicion, Woody and Jordan always drove to work separately. He locked the door to his apartment as they left. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her as he looked into her eyes. "I love you so much" he smiled, his obvious happiness showing on his face.  
  
"Because we just had a quickie on your bathroom sink?" she teased, making him blush.  
  
"Ha ha" he said rolling his eyes.  
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly. "I love you too" she said understanding that he wanted to hear her say it again, hell she never got tired of hearing him say it either.  
  
Garret watched Jordan come in and head to her office. He picked up the phone and called Woody.  
  
"Hoyt" Woody answered.  
  
"Woody, it's Garret, listen I need to see you here at the morgue"  
  
"Yeah sure, everything alright doc?" Woody asked concerned.  
  
"We'll talk when you get here, when do you think you can get here?"  
  
"I'm on my way now, so I'll be there in five minutes"  
  
"Just come into my office when you get here" Garret said hanging up.  
  
He thought of calling Jordan to see if everything was all right but he was almost there and would see her by the time he could have dialed her number.  
  
He stepped off the elevator and automatically peeked into Jordan's office but she wasn't there. He knocked on Garret's door and waited for a response.  
  
"Come in" Garret called out.  
  
Woody opened the door and saw Jordan sitting there looking like a child in the principal's office, he smiled at the thought.  
  
"Take a seat Woody" Garret instructed as he stood up and crossed his arms as he looked back and forth between Jordan and Woody.  
  
Woody and Jordan looked at each other questioningly, neither knowing what this meeting was about.  
  
"So I stopped by the Pogue last night, had a drink, talked to Max" Garret said, pausing after the talked to Max part for emphasis.  
  
Woody and Jordan glanced at each other but neither of them spoke.  
  
"I'm sure you have probably figured out by now that he told me about your...involvement" he said searching for the right word.  
  
Woody saw Jordan's jaw clench "Well that wasn't his place to say anything now was it?" she said obviously annoyed at her father's intrusion into her personal life.  
  
"Whether it was or wasn't is not the point, the point is now I know and now I have to tell you what's going to happen. There are rules regarding this type of situation, you cannot have a physical relationship if you are going to continue to work together so I have to tell you that you must either end this or you will not be allowed to continue to work together and that may mean that one or both of you may be reassigned."  
  
"What???? Garret, you know us! We've worked together for two years, nothing has ever compromised a case and it still wont" She fumed.  
  
"It doesn't matter Jordan, this isn't my decision, it's just the rules, you two deal with the fate of people's lives and there can be no conflict of interest on that front"  
  
"What exactly do you think is going to happen? You think we're going to have an argument one day and I'll just decide to screw up some evidence and let a killer go free just to piss off my boyfriend?!"  
  
"With your temper" Garrett teased, offering up a smile.  
  
Jordan cut her eyes at him harshly and his smiled quickly retreated. "Look Jordan, you can be as mad at me as you want but there's nothing I can do about it, it's not my rule but I cant break it either, my job would be on the line"  
  
"I highly doubt that, your job should be pretty secure with you screwing the D.A. and all, but I guess there's no conflict of interest there."  
  
"Jordan!" Woody hissed through clenched teeth.  
  
"What Woody? Why are you so quiet anyway?" she screamed, turning her anger on Woody.  
  
"I'm just thinking it through rationally, you're too emotional" he answered then bit his lip wishing he could bite back his words as he realized what he had just said.  
  
She stared at him, anger burning in her eyes. "Well maybe it's my emotional state talking but I don't think you'll have anything to worry about Garrett, me and Woody will be able to work together just fine because there wont be anything physical going on between us!" she said and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her.  
  
"Well that went well" Garrett said with a sympathetic smile.  
  
Woody buried his face in his hands for a minute before getting up and following her. 


	6. Hitting the fan

Woody sighed deeply and followed Jordan out of Garrett's office after the disaterous meeting.  
  
"Jordan! Wait up!" he called out to her but this only caused her to walk faster down the hallway, successfully evading him.  
  
She threw open the doors to the women's locker room and went inside seeking solace, she assumed Woody wouldn't dare follow her in there.  
  
"Jordan! Damnit!" he cursed as he stopped short at the door to the locker room and punched the wall lightly in frustration.  
  
Devon was walking out at the same time and ran straight into Woody, dropping all the files she had been carrying.  
  
"Crap! Sorry Woody, I didn't see you there" She said as she knelt down to pick up all of her files which were now scattered all over the hallway.  
  
Woody knelt down to help her gather her papers. "No, I'm sorry, if I had been paying attention, your case files wouldn't all be scattered all over this hallway"  
  
"Well I've always been a klutz but if you insist on being to blame, it can be equally our faults, thanks for helping me with this stuff" she said smiling.  
  
"No problem, Hey, did you happen to notice if there were any other women in there?" he asked nodding towards the locker room she had just exited.  
  
"Just Jordan, why do you ask? You're not a peeper are you Woody? Because I'm fairly sure you can get women to take their clothes off for you with them knowing" she teased.  
  
He laughed "No, Jordan's pissed at me, I was trying to talk to her but she walked away from me and went in there so I couldn't follow her but if no one's in there it's fair game in my book"  
  
"Man, you guys are so funny, you act like such a couple" she said laughing.  
  
"Yeah, weird huh?" he said trying to play it off. She just raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You're not going to rat me out for being in the girls locker room are you?" he asked.  
  
"What is this junior high?" She mocked. "No, Woody I'm going to pretend like I didn't see anything so I wont tell if you wont"  
  
"Thanks Devon" he grinned as he let himself into the locker room.  
  
Jordan was changing into her scrubs when she heard him come in.  
  
"Woody! Get out! You cant be in here"  
  
"I was trying to talk to you but you just walked away so Im not going anywhere until you listen to me, besides youre the only one in here anyway"  
  
"I don't really want to hear anything you have to say right now since you didn't have anything to say in there"  
  
"What was I supposed to say?"  
  
"I don't know, you could have defended us, you could have said anything but you didn't"  
  
"Jordan, Garrett is only doing his job, I'm sure if there was any way to allow us to work together he would have already done it"  
  
"We can work together, as long as we're not together" she pointed out.  
  
"But we are together" he said confused.  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't be, this is starting to get complicated and that's exactly what I didn't want"  
  
"Come on Jordan, it's not like you and I only work together, we can do our jobs with other people and still be together, unless you don't think its worth it" he said after seeing the look on her face.  
  
"I just don't know what to do, I don't want everything to change and I feel like it already has"  
  
"Ofcourse things have changed, things always change but that's not a bad thing, I love you, is that bad?"  
  
"I think we need to take some time and clear our heads" she said.  
  
"I don't need any time, I know what I want, if you ever figure out what you want let me know" he said angrily as he stomped out.  
  
Woody decided to go to the Pogue for a drink, or several.  
  
Woody decided to go to the Pogue for a drink after work and was relieved not to see Max behind the bar.  
  
Woody walked up to the bar and took a seat "4 shots of Whiskey, 4" he said holding up four fingers to make his intentions clear.  
  
"Sounds like you've had a rough day kid" he heard Max say from behind him.  
  
"Yeah, you could say that" Woody answered without turning around.  
  
"A case or my daughter?" Max asked taking a seat on the stool next to Woody.  
  
"You told Garrett about us and he says we cant work together anymore so Jordan flipped out and then yelled at me because she said I didn't defend us and now she doesn't know what she wants." Woody said slamming the first empty shot glass down on the bar.  
  
"Sorry to hear that kid, you and Jordan make a good team, in the field that is" Max said.  
  
"Yeah well maybe we will still be in the field together because apparently she thinks being with me is too complicated."  
  
"Are you surprised?" Max asked raising an eyebrow as if to say you should have seen this coming a mile away. 


	7. Things change

"Well I guess I shouldn't be given our history but I thought things were different now, everything was going so great until now. Why did you have to tell Garrett?" he asked slamming another shot.  
  
"People were going to have to find out eventually, what kind of relationship would you be able to have if you have to have it from everyone?" Max said.  
  
"We were planning to tell everyone but in our own time, we wanted it to be just us for a while, that's what Jordan needed and that's why we didn't tell people, now I feel like we're being punished for that even though its our life, our business, why the hell does everyone else always get a say in what happens?"  
  
"I don't think you're really mad about this, I think you're probably mad at Jordan"  
  
Woody downed yet another shot then turned to him. "Well ofcourse I'm mad at Jordan, I mean what the hell is the matter with her? It's too complicated?, it's been complicated for two freakin' years"  
  
"In those two years I think you've learned enough about Jordan to know that's just the way she is, give her some space, she'll come around" Max advised.  
  
"How do you know that? What I've learned most about Jordan this whole time is that she is stubborn as hell, what makes you think she'll change her mind?"  
  
"The way I saw her looking at you last night, she loves you"  
  
"You think that's enough?" Woody asked staring down at the bar.  
  
"It's everything" Max said patting him on the shoulder. "You should get home, there might be someone waiting for you"  
  
Jordan went back to her apartment, she hadn't even been back since the Malden incident, Woody and her dad had been to get her clothes and things she needed.  
  
She inserted her key in the door and slowly opened the door. She walked in and looked around, the memory of that night causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. She rubbed her arms and stared at the dark stain on the floor that had once been Malden's blood. She hurried out of the apartment.  
  
Jordan decided to go to the Pogue and see her dad. He smiled when he saw her enter the bar.  
  
"Hey" He said casually.  
  
"Hi dad, are you still mad?" she asked.  
  
"I wasn't really mad, it was more disappointment that you didn't feel comfortable telling me something so important"  
  
"I told you dad, we were going to tell you, we just needed some time to ourselves"  
  
"So what about now? Woody told me you think you need some time apart"  
  
"I don't know dad, I just didn't want everything to change but it seems like it already has, I don't want to not be able to work with Woody, we kick butt together"  
  
"Things have changed, you couldn't go back to just working with Woody now that you've been a couple, are you willing to give up what you have because you're afraid of change?"  
  
"I went back to my apartment tonight" Jordan said.  
  
"Yeah? How did that go?" Max asked, concerned.  
  
"It sucked, all I could think was I want to be back at Woody's"  
  
"Well it's not too late for that" he said.  
  
"He probably doesn't want to have anything to do with me" she said looking at her hands.  
  
"Only one way to find out" he smiled.  
  
"Thanks dad, for understanding" she said reaching over the bar to hug him.  
  
Woody got home and checked his messages hoping there would be one from Jordan. He sighed when he got to the last one and realized she hadn't called.  
  
"Hey" Jordan said from the door, he hadn't heard her come in.  
  
"Hey" he said back looking her over.  
  
"Did you come to get your stuff?" he asked looking away.  
  
"No" she said walking in and closing the door behind her. Woody just watched her.  
  
"I'm sorry about today" she said  
  
"What are you sorry about?" he asked, not making it easy for her.  
  
"I went to my apartment tonight and it felt strange, not just because of what happened but because this feels like home, with you, I don't want to be without you ever again, I don't care about the complications, I don't care about anything but being with you" she said walking towards him.  
  
She stopped when she realized his expression hadn't changed, and he hadn't opened his arms to greet her warmly.  
  
"Woody?" she asked.  
  
He slowly made his way over to her and looked into her eyes. "I try to be mad at you but I can never last" he grinned hugging her close.  
  
She laughed "I love you so much" she said hugging him as tight as she could. 


End file.
